It’s the 21st century. Anal is on the menu. Butt stuff remains one of the most divisive sex acts. Those who love it really love it. And those who aren’t into it tend to put their feet down pretty firmly. You’ll never really know which side you’re on until you try it for yourself. Ass play can be intimidating, especially for a newbie. But there’s no reason to go into it unprepared. If you take your time, lean into some foreplay and relax your odds of enjoying it go up exponentially. Read on for MUVA’s tips for easing into anal sex.
Stock Up On Water-Based Lube
Using lube is super important, because the anus (unlike the vagina) is not self-lubricating. Even if you’re not committed to penetration quite yet – and that’s totally ok! – having a water-based lube on hand will increase sensitivity and make foreplay even hotter. A good water-based lube that’s compatible with latex barriers and most toys is Lelo’s Personal Moisturizer (featured in our Inaugural Amber Rose Box). It’s slippery enough to get things goin’ and it won’t gunk up on you or stain your sheets.
Try A Dental Dam
Dental dams are a super helpful and effective safer sex barrier, but many people haven’t even heard of them, let alone use them. So what is a dental dam? If you’ve never used one before, a dental dam is a sheet of thin latex (flavored or unflavored) that protects against direct mouth-to-genital or mouth-to-booty contact during oral sex. Dental dams greatly reduce your risk for STI’s while still still allowing for stimulation.
If the thought of rimming your partner’s booty turns your stomach, consider using a dental dam to create a layer between their anus and your mouth, or vice versa. To use, just remove the dam from the packaging, unfold it and place it on your partner’s booty. Don’t stretch the dam or press it tightly to the skin, instead let it stick to the skin via natural moisture or static! For extra stability you can hold the dam gently in place with one or both hands. As always, lube is your BFF! To stop a slippery dam from moving around too much, place a couple dots of lube between the dam and the skin. And remember to use water or silicone-based lube, because oil-based lubes can damage latex barriers!
Pick Out A Toy
A great way to ease into anal play is with toys! Try a vibrating toy with a broad head for some stimulation – you don’t even have to insert if it you don’t want to! This b-Vibe Rimming Petite mimics the feel of a rim job, and its slim enough for first time anal play. With insertable toys, start small. The whole point of anal play is to keep it simple and work your way up. This set of sleek silicone anal plugs by Amos comes in graduated sizes so you can work your way up!
It Shouldn’t Hurt
We’ve all heard anal sex horror stories, but done gently and correctly (and with plenty of foreplay and lube) anal sex shouldn’t hurt. Take deep breaths, relax, lean into the foreplay and relax. Let your partner warm you up by worshipping your booty with a sensual massage. Just because the booty hole is the main goal, doesn’t mean they should head straight there and set up camp. Massages and gentle touches all over your body, including your cheeks and upper thighs, will relax you and get you ready for more.
Go Slow And Shallow
The person giving should err on the shallow side, and for goodness sakes avoid any heavy thrusting or rapid-fire jackhammer movements, whether with a penis, a strap-on, a toy or their fingers. All the nerve endings you’re trying to stimulate are in the anus (not way up in your small intestine) which is why the activity should be focused on the “rim” of the bootyhole and not way up in your guts.
Contrary to popular belief, not all butt stuff must be done in the doggy position. Try lying on your back with your hips elevated, or sitting on bae’s face in reverse cowboy/girl. Move around, and get comfortable. While you’re at it, make sure bae is comfortable too.
Clean Up Your Act
Despite what many people think, anal sex (and the booty in general) are not really that dirty. The anus and the lower part of the rectum actually have very little fecal matter in them, so most of the time all you need to freshen up is a warm shower. If you’re worried about cleanliness, douching isn’t harmful every once in a while and if it helps you relax it’s totally worth it.
Anal sex often feels best when there’s some additional stimulation goin’ on, whether its clitoral, nipple-centric, penis-heavy, or whatever. Use your free hand(s) to stimulate other parts of your or your partner’s body to really round out the experience. (Hoe Tip: If you’re a person with a vagina, don’t let bae stick a finger or toy that was just in your booty in your vagina.)
Communication is Key
As with all sex acts, communication is crucial. The only way to figure out what works for your partner is to ask. The only way to get what you want is to tell them. Be tuned in to how bae is feeling and how their body is reacting, and you’ll know if you’re both enjoying the ride!
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